Unfortunate kind of feeling

Sometimes I wonder why God gives me things I don't really need, but deny me things I really wanted. I am not being ungrateful. I do appreciate things that I have, which to be honest, are not bad at all. And God has been kind in making my life relatively easy. It's just that it's an easy road to a place I don't really think I need to be in order to be happy. What plan He has in store for me, I do not know. Why has He brought me this far, away from what I imagined my life should be, I really wonder. What lessons He's teaching me, I need to know. Is He preparing me for something? What is it?

Ya Allah, kau bukakanlah hijab yang menutupi mata hati. Agar aku dapat melihat apa yang Kau cuba sampaikan kepadaku. Agar aku dapat menggapai apa yang aku mahu, walau mungkin dengan cara yang sebelum ini aku tidak pernah tahu... 

   

3 series, or so they say...

Happy birthday!!!

Alhamdullilah. Allah has brought me this far in life. May He always be by my side and keep me on the right track. May I find happiness and joy in every undertaking, find wisdom in overcoming obstacles, and forever young~

^_^

p/s: my birthday wish: husnul khatimah.

What was that all about?

As usual, Mom wants me to get married. Or my boss wants me to. Or my colleagues. Have someone to take care of me. Really that sounds nice and all but man, I can't even stand the people around me that I've known all my life. How could I put up with a stranger? Or the other way around. Even my family doesn't think I'm lovable or that I'm really such a pain in the ass so why would a stranger will think differently about me and wants to take care of me? It's absurd. It's an illogical delusional line of thoughts. And this is why I think marriage is such a scary thing.

My spouse is bound to hate me and I am not one who can like someone who hates me so we will either stuck in a loveless marriage or get divorce, which is such a hassle so I don't even want to think about it.

I find myself difficult sometimes so I don't trust myself with other people. I don't like things complicated. I just want a simple life. We all are gonna die anyway. Can't we just be hassle-free?